1st time

It has been a long time coming. A sort of "bottling up" if you will.

A lot has occurred, personally, in the last 3 years. These "a lots" will show themselves over the course of the blogs. The first blog is an introduction...inspired simply by events that occurred this afternoon.

Pushed by an interesting state of mind, (influenced by relationships and the meaning of love) I was headed to dig in the earth. The house my dad and I now live in is full of green (not the eco-friendly type of green but the the literal sense of the word) potential. We have an array of fruit trees, herb plants, and misc greenery. We, my dad and I, are so grateful for this and yet it is such a responsibility. Not to mention overwhelming. Needless to say, I headed out for a bit of physicality, meditation, release of mental frustration. As I am placing my pulled weeds into garbage bags, Dad comes out to collect key limes. He comes around the key lime tree with key limes stuffed in his shirt that he has pulled away from his body to create enough room for the limes. What a sight. At first, it reminded me of my best friends dance from college...I had to collect cherries that were thrown all over the stage, in a dress that I had to pull away from my body to make room to hold the cherries. So, Dad and I have a quick dialog of words regarding a pie inspired by the limes (aka Key Lime Pie). Delightful and sad thoughts arrive at the exact same time. Delightful at the thought of Dad in the kitchen again. Sad in the thought at when exactly the delightful thought will take place. You see, it is not so easy for Dad to get in the kitchen these days. Since the words "terminal" and "spread of cancer" were discussed by the doctor and dad, he has had little drive to step into kitchen.

So...delightful and sad...at the same time. It is a treat to be able to live day in and day out with Dad...it is also sad. I wish our "day in and day outs" were filled with the Dad that could share his kitchen expertise with his amateur daughter. Now that we have this time I have to admit I wish it was being spent doing lively things. This is all part of this disease... cancer.

Just a little venting...good for me to do today. Life has had its tough moments and this blog is opening its self to be just the right thing. Ah...open space